Steel Panther (support: Damir Simic Shime)
Wednesday, July 10, 2024
Zagreb / Tvornica kulture / Croatia
When Steel Panther head out on a world tour and you’ve been impatiently waiting for them to bring their latest album “On The Prowl” — out just over a year ago — to your corner of the world, one thing is crystal clear: you’d be hard pressed to find another act on the planet capable of throwing a better party than these four clowns, who operate first and foremost as the ultimate parody of the golden age of the eighties, when glam metal and the Sunset Strip rode a wave of popularity so massive it left a permanent mark on the scene.
Whether it’s Poison, Ratt, Motley Crue, or Pretty Boy Floyd, there’s no shortage of obvious associations when you take in the cocky, piss-taking looks and vocals of the sharply turned-out Steel Panther. But times have changed. Metal has branched out beyond recognition over the last — well, we’re talking nearly four decades — and it no longer speaks to the masses with anything like the infectious, bursting-at-the-seams optimism that was everywhere in the eighties. Melody has been swapped out for down-tuned half-step chugging, clean vocals for growls and grunts. Aggression and brutality, in short. Which mirrors the brutal times we’re all sinking into alongside the glitz and misery of this brave (and certifiably insane) new world. That’s exactly why an experience with a band that conjures up those good old days so vividly and convincingly hits all the harder. This isn’t just a top-tier parody — it’s also a moment of pure, deep nostalgia.
When a band like this shows up practically on your doorstep — and in our case, that very much includes the Croatian capital Zagreb — you simply have to be there. Getting to Zagreb this time around came with its fair share of painful dilemmas, though. On the same day, the 76-year-old madman Alice Cooper was playing in nearby Pordenone, while the legendary 80-year-old Floyd man Nick Mason — backed by a stellar ensemble and a bag full of Pink Floyd tracks from the band’s psychedelic (read: early) era — was gracing our very own Avditorij Portorož. Even for RockLine, the juggling act this time around was, shall we say, “rather entertaining” — but the wheel of fortune decided we’d land in Zagreb!
Back to Steel Panther. Two years have flown by since the first time this band came through (when they stepped in to rescue the cancelled Whitesnake show at Šalata with their own standalone set at Tvornica kulture). It doesn’t get much better than this — nor could it. The venue itself said it all: Steel Panther had sold it out again, for the second time running.
By eight in the evening, while our crew was still deep in the trenches hunting for a legal parking spot and marveling at the sheer digital ease of navigating the app that handles street parking payments in Zagreb (I hope the sarcasm landed), the brilliant Damir Simic Shime was already on stage at Tvornica with his band. We had to miss his entire half-hour set. The man is a top-tier guitar virtuoso who has worked with prominent names in rock and metal throughout his career, released several solo albums, and among other things contributed his skills to Shark’s Island. This time around, he and his crew were playing exclusively Van Halen material. There’s not a shadow of doubt that this outstanding musician and his bandmates delivered exactly the kind of warm-up a scorching hot evening like this one called for!
Then at nine — showtime! Tvornica packed to the rafters. Barely room to breathe. The band explodes onto the stage. Action. Four guys, the ultimate parody of ridiculous glam metal ballet dancers, come flying out of the gate. You’d expect the bulk of the setlist to be built around tracks from the first two albums, “Balls Out” and “Feel the Steel” — the records that put Steel Panther on the map as one of the greatest comedy-parody acts in the world. And as always, if you’re a fan not just of this band but of a genuinely great time, Steel Panther pull off the miracle: the whole thing plays out like an actual stand-up comedy show! How do you stretch 13 songs into a set that runs an hour and a half? Simple — with an absolute avalanche of banter, which, with Steel Panther on stage, is simply non-negotiable. Satchel is the chief verbal surgeon. And if anyone dares suggest he isn’t cutting it in that department, he’ll answer with a few dizzying guitar acrobatics that would have even the late Eddie raising an eyebrow from beyond the grave. And because this was Zagreb — and on top of that, Zagreb for the second time — Dino (Dino Jelusić) was back in the building too. From declaring Zagreb the city with the best cocaine to running through what amounted to a complete crash course in sexology, the lads covered every angle, drawing particular inspiration from Dino and his various, shall we say, capabilities when it came to winding up the female contingent in the crowd. That, naturally, had the audience buzzing with anticipation for his appearance throughout the entire show. He’d already been spotted in the crowd before things kicked off — and now it was time to slowly make his way to the stage. But slowly. All in good time.
When the crew set up Nord keyboards in the front line, the audience already knew that drummer Stix Zadinia would be “practicing” on them again. Dino steps onto the stage too. And? That’s the whole point right there. First girl up. The ballad Weenie Ride delivers a new breed of brilliant joke — though it’s not really the song itself so much as the mischief and “nonsense” that Satchel and Michael Starr unleash as they do everything in their power to provoke the girl on stage, who plays along perfectly. The climax came when the band invited even more girls up. Of course — for 17 Girls in a Row. Space ran out fast. There were definitely more than 17 of them. Over the years, though, things have calmed down a little, and tops stayed firmly on throughout. Back in 2014 in Graz, there was none of that restraint, as Austrian and Slovenian Styrian women shamelessly packed the stage at that very point in the show.
The party was flying by far too fast. But Dino was still there — and the band hadn’t forgotten about him. Together they ripped through Slide It In (orig. Whitesnake), with Dino more than justifying his thunderous vocal reputation, while also handing Stix a few useful tips on improving his keyboard technique. And for the second time running, Steel Panther absolutely demolished Tvornica kulture. It’s genuinely hard to say which show was better — the one two years ago or this one. Maybe this one — but the excuse “I’m still running on a fresh high” doesn’t quite hold up.
If you’ve never experienced what it feels like when your facial muscles ache from laughing, then you absolutely need to get yourself to a Steel Panther show. Don’t let the style of music put you off — just go, for the most fundamental reason there is: because it delivers the best possible party. Setting aside the fact that they’re technically brilliant, they layer so much sharp, stinging mockery onto every corner of the theatrical spectacle — and only they can pull that off — that there’s simply no escaping the joy they drag out of you. Every worry falls away. At least for an hour and a half, while you’re inside the vivid world of one of the greatest parody bands on the planet. Tvornica kulture has just hosted one of the best club gigs of the year. And so the countdown has begun — to the day Steel Panther return to Zagreb, given that Slovenia will never get them. Maybe next time they’ll put on two consecutive nights. Trust us: both would sell out without a doubt.
text: Edita Klemen & Aleš Podbrežnik
photos: Aleš Podbrežnik
Steel Panther – setlist:
1. Eyes of a Panther
2. Tomorrow Night
3. Asian Hooker
4. Just Like Tiger Woods
5. Friends With Benefits
6. Guitar Solo
7. Death to All But Metal
8. 1987
9. Ain’t Dead Yet
10. Weenie Ride
11. 17 Girls in a Row
12. Party Like Tomorrow Is the End of the World
13. Gloryhole
