Steel Panther and Graz’s Hours of Colorful Perversion (2014)

Poba Last updated 21 November 2019

Location: Graz / Orpheum Teater / Austria
Date: Sunday, March 2, 2014

Probably the hottest rock ‘n’ roll parody going right now! And with a show in Graz, Austria! Steel Panther. Not something you skip. If you love the full-blown circus of reviving the golden days of the Sunset Strip, and you also know that this kind of parody is only justified when the folks pulling it off on stage have more than just the talent to pose in front of cameras, when they can actually play the material too, then you’ll definitely find yourself in this story! Just like you maybe did back in 2003 with The Darkness.

Steel Panther exploded in 2009, when they dropped their debut “Feel the Steel”, seasoned with an exceptionally cunning dose of typical American packaging. A carefully premeditated commercial success story, with which they set off on a march to conquer the world. From there on, the band’s reputation just keeps growing. The reputation of universally beloved musical scoundrels! With the new studio album “All That You Eat” on the way, the band announced the first leg of a new European tour already in the first half of the year, before the album was even out.

Visiting Graz’s Orpheum Theater offered a special experience this time. The venue was completely sold out! And it was filled mostly with people who’d finished elementary school. “Sweet Seventeen,” in other words! It was boiling. A little after eight in the evening, local heroes Easy were the first to take the stage. In a three-quarter-hour set they presented their own material and, regardless of the use of well-worn, already-heard tricks from the flashy hard rock arsenal, delivered a solid stage performance that, especially thanks to some borrowed tricks from the singer, often reminded me of Bon Jovi. The vocals showed no small sympathy for Jon Bon Jovi’s approach. But unfortunately the vocals were also the weakest link in the Easy fun. At the end the guys got the crowd on their feet with a Kiss cover, Lick It Up, which they nailed very respectably, putting together a really tasteful warm-up overall.

A little after nine, the temperature in the venue climbed to boiling point. The stage was opened up to the max. In width and in depth. In the back, a giant platform with risers sprawling across it. Staircases on the left and right led down toward the front of the stage. There the quartet, huddled together, started teasing the crowd in the intro of Eyes Of A Panther, taken from the first (real) real Steel Panther debut “Feel the Steel”. Real? Some of you might remember 2003 and the album “Hole Patrol” by a band called Metal Shop. It was put out by the exact same crew of four musicians, just under a different name.

Perversion piled on perversion! Each one worse than the last. Wrong. Each one sweeter than the last. Every move totally rehearsed. Poses, facial expressions, banter, and there was a whole heap of that. Half an hour of it all told, but with Steel Panther gigs it’s an essential part of the show.

The Orpheum was up in the air. From the first row to the last. I haven’t experienced anything like it since the days when I used to go to our shows back in 2002, when Judas Priest and Motörhead played here! The girls were losing it. They’ve got the verses of the songs in the pinky of their left hands. The energy is indescribable. Sweat pouring from everywhere. In streams! Wetness! A genuine intravenous “partyyyy dose” of the sweetest rock ‘n’ roll pain! Ralph Saenz a.k.a. “Michael Starr” on vocals, Russ Parrish a.k.a. “Satchel” on guitar, a.k.a. “Lexxi Foxx” on bass and Darren Leader a.k.a. “Stix Zadinia” pulled off the first real break already after the second song, and that’s when the performance started to take on its true meaning of reviving the Sunset Strip. The guys nailed that authentic slang of the late-eighties bands (Poison, Ratt)! In harmony, of course, with the stylistic challenge of dressing up, which inherited the famous folklore of the Sunset Strip scene’s primping. Steel Panther effortlessly coaxed sinful thoughts out of the audience and got them to pull every silly stunt they were ordered to.

The perversions seemed to have no end. No holding back. Straight to the point! Penetration! The “Parental Advisory” sticker isn’t even good enough for kindergarten, considering how well, and to their own advantage, Steel Panther used it. Of course, a few lines were faked. Vocal ones, a few guitar and keyboard ones. But that doesn’t matter much! Within the quartet, the ones who showed off their great virtues first and foremost were the unrestrained Michael Starr (an exceptional stage character) and the excellent guitarist Satchel, who “peeled off” some outstanding solo acrobatics, filled the gaps between songs in the funniest way possible, and slipped into the stage show, at one point, the famous reinterpretation of the Van Halen instrumental Eruption. With it he paid his great tribute to Eddie. Steel Panther’s musical beginnings go back to the days when the guys were still playing as a Van Halen tribute band. And if I may go back to Satchel for a moment, the man saved one of the best tricks for the middle of the set, when somewhere during Michael’s long address to the audience he cut the singer off with the following warning: “Michael! If you don’t stop your nonsense right now, I’ll fire you from Steel Panther and turn Steel Panther into a Rush tribute band!” And the very moment he said those words, he played the intro of the Rush song The Spirit Of Radio! No! And it wasn’t faked! I’ll gladly admit it. With all the good vibes of those outstanding comedy bits, the dimples of my lower jaw were put to a serious test, a bowl of unavoidable laughter, filled to the brim.

A band strutting in every move, trick and bit of mischief! And what does the bass player do when he doesn’t have much to do in the band, which of course comes from the genre style they cultivate? He has to make sure above all that the girls like him. Astonishingly so. And Lexxi is exactly that. Pretty, androgynous looking, and he naturally amps it all up with extra dandyish, cheeky inventions! Like theatrically checking himself out in the mirror, constantly fixing his hair, which he does even in the middle of playing the material. The evening flew by in a flash. A great performance from the whole crew and an unrestrained session of exceptional theater that hypnotically sucks you into a world outside of reality. The American way. It doesn’t work any other way. Circus acts are in their blood. But they do it credibly. Because they’re excellent musicians. Satchel for president!

In one of the numbers, the band brought a gang of young girls up on stage, and they pretty much did as they were told. There’s no question about it. It’s simply a fact! They’d do anything in the menopause of their sweltering, intoxicating humidity. For any one of the band members. Now imagine what Steel Panther got them to do over the course of the show! Four men on stage. When getting turned on in a joke turns deadly serious! Steel Panther get a fast-track entry visa to what regular mortals of the male persuasion usually aren’t meant to get. Well, at least not every day. They could’ve had every single woman in the hall that night for free. On Michael’s command: “You two! Start making out, and you, grab her by the pussy!” Easy as pie! Absolute masters of the lesbo show! And on it goes: “Show us your tits!” No problem. Anything else you’d like, Michael?

In short. That’s just one of the many gems of the Steel Panther show, which every mortal has to see once in a lifetime. Whether you’re a glam metal fan, a Sunset Strip fan, or not. Doesn’t matter. You’ll witness one hell of a party. Packed with positive vibes, cheerfulness, joy and boundless fun. An authentic snapshot of what really went down once upon a time in Los Angeles. Something we quietly crave every day, but the modern-day enslavement in the service of a handful of twisted conspirators who run the planet unfortunately pulls us further and further away from knowing how to enjoy life and how to pick more moments of the everyday for “unplugging” the soul and body! After the gig there wasn’t a hero left who’d complain about anything. The crowd happily rolled out of the hall in their drunkenness, and the party surely moved on from the Orpheum to some hidden nocturnal corners of Graz’s streets.

So once again Steel Panther masterfully repackaged the look of mocking, potent motherfuckers and cashed in on it with full-blooded gusto, and of course confirmed it with great power and vehemence at the Graz show. In a way that you can’t fault in any respect. An exceptional show theater and an excellent delivery of the material. Hand in hand. And Steel Panther are riding toward their career peak. They haven’t hit the zenith of their career yet. But they’re closing in on it fast. Meanwhile, the second leg of the European tour is confirmed for this year. If anyone missed the band in Graz, they’ve got a nice chance to fix their mistake. And as soon as possible!

author: Aleš Podbrežnik
photos: Aleš Podbrežnik

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