Artist: Caesars Rome
Label: Superball Music
Release: 2010
Length: 41:06
Rating: 1/5
Yet another cheery boy band, “boyband” in instant packaging, done head to toe with a built-in guarantee of MTV appeal and good sales potential. Yep. No need to rediscover the fact that, thanks to the short-sighted scramble for a fistful of cash, we’ve been driven to the edge of sanity, and even musicians’ self-expression now runs through the fact of rock.
Ceasars Rome is a name that offers a parody of Kings Of Leon and the like. Lads who probably grew up crunching Kellogg’s cornflakes and playing Age Of Empires, and so heard about Caesar and Rome, will surely come clean and show you who the real deal in rock music is. Because we all believe, deadly seriously, that somewhere beyond the nine mountains and nine seas, near dreamy Alpine pastures, even the marmot loves wrapping chocolate.
Like Coldplay? Then welcome home in Caesar’s Rome too. Melodic pop-emo ditties, with mild punk sloppiness but underlined by contrasty production that’s clean and breathes dynamically across the album. Incredible how easy it is to dress any weakling in a mask of invincibility. The production carries everything. Fat bass kick, warm “drive” and a lively harmony between the individual parts that build the sound of the album “The Company We Keep”. The vocal is clean, really likes to drag out vowels and shape melodies with them, which was done en masse on planet Earth first by U2 hotshot Bono “Boner” Vox. Where Coldplay are, U2 are close anyway, I’d better have flipped the order.
These young emotional whimperers are so immaculate in the lineup of this debut album that even their farts probably smell of baking vanilla powder. That or something similar could be the quip on first encounter with the music. The sensitive “Bambi-style” whimpering is literally copy-pasted through the choruses, and because of that all the songs look like two peas in a pod. There’s a melody. Definitely. But on the other hand. Isn’t it sad when the best way to describe music is as a mix of emotional pop-punk puking? Where have we got to with sweeping punk aside? And where to with shoving pop down our throats? Horror. But this is the new age. Modern. Made for mass festivals, where a horde of eight-year-old girls awaits you below the stage, anticipating their first period..
There’s not a trace of anything tangible in Caesars Rome’s music that would justify why you, as a representative of the young generation on whom the world is supposedly soon to rest, would turn to rock as a means of revolt and a show of general disobedience through the musical sermon of your own artistic being. “The Company We Keep” is a beautifully “packaged” album. That’s why it’s trivial the moment you sniff its booklet. Before you even get to the music. Jimmy Eat World and Brand New “freaks” don’t know that. And they don’t even need to. As long as they can market the good looks of at least one band member, on whom thirteen-year-olds will secretly “rub” themselves, they’ll be fine. When the generation outgrows them, they’ll be forgotten like spring snow.
Even in moments when a more promising riff kicks in (Goodbye Country Road, Finding Waves), the vocal covers up that promise in “masterly” fashion with its pathetic whininess. But watch out! The music is mostly carried by major-key moves! Funniest of all is when you read the track title Awake & Armed, and the vocal leads you through a cheerful, triumphant melody, maybe “squeals” a little and serves up the dish. Caesars Rome! Rock and a half. It wouldn’t scare even a two-year-old. Only a gang of immature, underage and untalented companions can make this kind of music. On top of that, it’s a sad fact that the music market has been raping the masses for almost a decade with one and the same “elite” of fifth-rate so-called musicians. With a pre-calculated commercial feint. Nothing else counts. Lady GaGa deserves a fresh tribute, since she remains the true queen of this funny “The Company We Keep” record!
Lineup
Jonathan Hopkins – vocals, guitar
Kyle Smith – guitar, backing vocals
Ashley Cocco – bass
Richard Berry – drums
Production
Romesh Dodangoda
Tracklist
1. Vegas & Its Nightlife (4:05)
2. High On The Nines (4:05)
3. Awake & Armed (3:31)
4. Let’s Wish (3:42)
5. Oceans (3:44)
6. The After Dark Soundtrack (4:14)
7. Goodbye Country Road (3:59)
8. Kicking Down Castles (4:46)
9. Finding Waves (3:08)
10. O’Captain (5:47)
