Author: Peter Podbrežnik
Artist: Zappa, Frank
Label: Rykodisc Records
Released: 1982
Running time: 34:18
Rating: 5/5
The legendary American composer Frank Zappa was a mad music scientist and an incorrigible social satirist rolled into one. Through constant experimenting and tinkering with the latest sound technology available, he tirelessly explored and uncovered new compositional tricks, using them to hold up a mirror, indirectly, to the American social order. When it came to mocking the delusions of the ‘God-chosen’ nation and the sociological patterns of its people, he pulled no punches, so by the early eighties he’d racked up a whole list of influential enemies, including in the US Congress, where they were determined to stop his musical messages from spreading by any means necessary.
Among the records that most riled up the self-appointed guardians of American souls is “Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch”, a kind of logical follow-up to its phenomenal predecessor “You Are What You Is” (1981), though unlike that one it doesn’t have any social-critique concept behind it. The album is spiced with plenty of sharp-witted satires of certain American social trends from the early eighties. The silliest of them, sadly, are still going strong today in all their tasteless pomposity and kitsch and, also sadly, have meanwhile spread to the European side of the ‘big pond’ too.
Stylistically, this studio relic of Frank’s could be labeled a complex stew of progressive rock, art rock, hard rock, avant-garde and jazz fusion, in other words the genres Frank loved to experiment with most throughout his career. By Frank’s usual avant-garde standards, some of the compositions have a noticeable commercial charge, which means the album, especially its first half, is a relatively “easy bite”, even for, let’s say, less demanding listeners. During the recording Frank had great support from outstanding instrumentalists led by the young guitar wizard Steve Vai, who was just then starting to take on a bigger role in the sheer amount of solos, while longtime keyboardist Tommy Mars (real name Tommy Mariano) embodied a veritable orchestra in miniature. Nor should we forget the contribution of the superb drummer Chad Wackerman, who very successfully carried on the legacy of his splendid predecessors, led by Terry Bozzio and Vinnie Colaiuta.
The first half of the album is made up of three compositions that rank among the most radio-friendly creations of Frank’s career and did a lot to make the album one of the central studio masterpieces of 1982 among fans of the maestro’s music (and one of the biggest provocations for every congressman). The energetic yet wonderfully fun and unusually melodic “No, Not Now” is just the right album opener, with Frank on lead vocals and chirping falsetto backing vocals that supply a hefty dose of humor. The lively rhythmic sections, helped along by a thickened bass line, constantly play around with hard-rocking guitar phrases. The lyrics themselves are another example of sharp toilet humor, aimed at petty-bourgeois life in the American Midwest (Utah and surroundings).
The most notorious composition on the album is undoubtedly the cult favorite “Valley Girl”, on which Frank was helped with spoken-word bits by his older daughter Moon Unit. Frank got the idea for this evergreen after he overheard his daughter one day making fun of her classmates by imitating their “Californian” slang. That particular slang already stood for spoiled, dim-witted, shallow teenage girls who embodied the stereotype of (not necessarily attractive) Anglo-Saxon girls with openly materialistic leanings and thinly veiled, often unusual sexual needs. Frank found her mimicry so funny that he invited her into the studio, where, with the help of her spoken “valley girl” phrases, the two of them recorded one of the best satires of Frank’s career. The track was also released as a single and, to everyone’s surprise, landed a resounding spot on the American charts.
For the first and last time in Frank’s entire career, one of his songs ended up among the 40 most popular radio hits, which was the biggest commercial success of his career. It’s a kind of irony that the unexpected popularity of this classic in the US only spread the use of this annoying slang among girls even further, and the consequences are sadly still visible today (here at home too), which means the final effect was exactly the opposite of what was intended, since Frank wanted the message to point out above all the unhealthy, commercialized image of the typical American girl. Most Americans, who until then had no clue about his music, thought because of “Valley Girl” that Zappa was exclusively a writer of novelty songs. That upset Frank so much that he never played the song live. Nowadays, by the way, the term “valley girl” often gets wrongly mixed up with “bimbo”, which usually stands for stereotypically dim, busty blondes in pink dresses with poodles on leashes.
The dramatic-burlesque “I Come From Nowhere” is a veritable puzzle of hard-rocking guitar contortions over rattling bass lines, accompanied by Frank’s grimacing, deliberately annoying vocals. The second part offers a chance for a whole gallon of guitar solos to melt together in a Zappa-Vai duel, and all lovers of guitar gods will be licking their lips as they listen. “Drowning Witch” is one of the most complex compositions of Frank’s career, which means individual motifs and rhythms keep changing constantly. From a burlesque section that borders on comedy karaoke, with Frank telling the story of a drowning witch, it moves into distinctly fusion waters with a whole mix of bizarre percussion, followed by a whole pleiad of capricious guitar solos that dominate right up to the end of the piece.
The album closes with two shorter pieces that flow into each other. The first is the instrumental “Envelopes”, where Frank goes to town with spine-chilling guitar effects. With the help of whinnying sounds, laughter run through a vocoder and scattered percussion, he creates the atmosphere of a veritable psychedelic horror movie. The closing burlesque “Teen-Age Prostitute” is a phenomenal slop of hard rock, cabaret and black comedy, where Lisa Popeil’s operatic vocal contribution stands out in particular, backed by grooving bass lines, falsetto vocal lines and punchy guitar phrases that no self-respecting hard rock band of the eighties would have been ashamed of.
“Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch” is yet another Zappa classic, or rather yet another in the string of the artist’s masterpieces, and as such it long ago became a must-have piece of furniture for every music gourmet. The balance between the first half of the album, led by the hit “Valley Girl”, and the somewhat more experimental second part is just right, so that neither extreme takes over, and looking for flaws in this album is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Frank’s traditionally perfectionist production, which was at least ten years ahead of its time, only adds to the fact that this is a veritable feast for all fans of authentic Zappa humor, royal guitar solos, tireless sonic experimentation and sensual yet empty “Californian” girls.
Lineup
Frank Zappa – guitar, vocals
Steve Vai – guitar
Ray White – rhythm guitar, vocals
Tommy Mars – keyboards
Bobby Martin – keyboards, saxophone, vocals
Ed Mann – percussion
Scott Thunes – bass guitar on “Drowning Witch”, “Envelopes”, “Teen-age Prostitute” and “Valley Girl”
Arthur Barrow – bass guitar on “No Not Now” and on the first part of “I Come From Nowhere”
Patrick O’Hearn – bass on the second part of “I Come From Nowhere”
Chad Wackerman – drums
Roy Estrada – vocals
Ike Willis – vocals
Bob Harris – vocals
Lisa Popeil – vocals on “Teen-Age Prostitute”
Moon Unit Zappa – vocals on “Valley Girl”
Production
Frank Zappa
Tracklist
1. No Not Now
2. Valley Girl
3. I Come from Nowhere
4. Drowning Witch
5. Envelopes
6. Teen-Age Prostitute
