Artist: Twisted Sister
Label: Razor And Tie Records
Released: 2006
What on earth can you expect from a Christmas album, especially when it’s by a band like TWISTED SISTER? Considering they’re one of the best-known hard rock, glam metal bands of all time, we probably arrive at an unusual conclusion, and an even tougher job when it comes to reviewing a release like this. The album in question has a telling title: A Twisted Christmas. The Slovenian translation is ambiguous, so in the name of religious tolerance in this pre-Christmas season, I’ll leave the choice of translation up to each individual ;-). Despite all that, the review becomes an even harder task. Anyway, let’s get started.
The opening track, “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”, kicks off with lonely acoustic guitar notes and a dreamy vocal, until the silence of the backdrop is rudely cut short by a loud shout: “Hey guys, what is this crap?!” Then everything gets turned on its head, a properly comical part with some heavy guitar bits, while vocalist Dee Snider stays calm and subtle. A shocking, excellent and at the same time comical counterpoint, something Twisted Sister have been putting to good use for ages. Just when the listener thinks the surprises are over, the second third of the song serves up another one. In this part the song reminds me most of the old Ramones tune “Blitzkrieg Bop”, but instead of the punk shout “Ay Oh, Let’s Go”, the Sisters go with “Ho Ho Ho, Let’s Go!”, which ends up sounding very clever and totally fired up. A very promising start to a Christmas record, no?
The second track, “Oh Come All Ye Faithful”, is another throwback. It begins with the intro melody of their most famous song, “We’re not gonna take it”, and blends it into the texture of a Christmas carol. As I mentioned in the intro, it’s ambiguous. On one hand it’s funny and inventive, but on the other, on the conservative soil of the USA, a combination like this might run into plenty of obstacles (despite all the organizations for the protection of this or that right). But the Sisters know exactly what they’re doing. The worst publicity is usually the best. The most interesting thing about this track is that the fusion of the two versions fits together unbelievably well and sounds surprisingly good. It’s all topped off with a well-chosen guitar solo that paints the Christmas mood even more vividly. Two surprises like that on A Twisted Christmas are enough to hook the listener into listening on, and that’s exactly how it went for me.
At this point I have to admit that I’m no great expert on every Twisted Sister album, so I can’t claim that every Christmas song on this record includes one of their own hits. Still, track three follows, titled “White Christmas”. The intro is bombastically escorted by raw guitar riffs and punchy drumming in the background, and the praise on this one goes to singer Dee, who didn’t immediately fall back on the usual rocker screaming at the top of his lungs, but kept his vocal clean instead, which kind of grounded the song and calmed it down. The lyrics match the musical backdrop well, and the song wraps up in a typically rock fashion, with guitars and a drum sequence. All in all, thumbs up again!
“I’ll Be Home For Christmas” opens with a loud guitar tremolo and fantastic vocals, and at first glance it comes across as pretty mellow, but after a while there’s another about-turn in the form of a goofy, pointless guitar solo. I don’t know, does it belong here? But to me it’s still a Christmas album, and four minutes of sawing away on Christmas Eve is a definite overdose even for my rock-trained ears.
We continue with “Silver Bells”, which again starts out very smooth and mellow, and while listening I’m not totally sure whether I’m not hearing one of their old hits again in the background, but it sure sounds like it. The most striking thing about this track is the chorus. It’s a chorus that all the Sisters sing together in canon, like a choir. It all sounds great and, unlike the previous tracks, very uplifting and just right for Christmas Eve. Of all the songs covered so far, “Silver Bells” definitely carries the most Christmassy message. “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” is without a doubt the hardest-hitting track on the album, and its peak is an unexpected cut off in the middle of the song, followed by superb vocals and an excellent guitar solo that drags on for a good full minute. A bit too long for my taste, because solo bits like that wreck the structure of individual songs and make the album sound boringly repetitive. But if you’re a die-hard heavy metal fan, that formula is made for you.
The album carries on with “Let It Snow”. It’s yet another picture in the string of Christmas Sisters, and here Dee calls on us to sing along with: “Hey, it’s christmas, you need songs to sing along with, right?”. After all, the song radiates the full Christmas tradition, good vibes and a hard sound. In short, a perfect rock party.
The album tips over into its second half, which in my opinion is the better and more listenable half. You can feel that a lot more effort went into this part, though in the end it’s mostly just a matter of song selection and running order. Anyway, up next is the typical Christmas staple “Deck the Halls”. After Let it snow, it’s another song that burns in every respect, and once again the masterful backing vocals from all the Sisters deserve a mention, with a chant along the lines of “Falala lala lala lala”, accompanied by jingling sleigh bells and the other obligatory arrangements for the season. I have to say it all sounds fantastic and will make you headbang involuntarily, or at least join in on some sisterly singing.
With this release Twisted Sister hit the jackpot, and with the right promotion the album could easily become a rock Christmas hit. Two closing tracks follow, the first being “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)”, which is calmer in nature and, like any nice fairy tale, hints to the listener that the album is wrapping up.
Then comes the closing anthem “Heavy Metal Christmas (The Twelve Days Of Christmas)”, where instead of the obligatory Christmas chorus of “Twelve Days Of Christmas”, the Sisters use their own spin on it in the style of “Heavy Metal Christmas”. The chorus is backed by the almost trademark sound of Twisted Sister’s cutting guitars and Dee’s instantly recognizable vocal. After a while the song gets tangled up in a nonstop repetition of the chorus, which comes across as kind of comically fun, since the Sisters keep outrunning themselves with the unstoppable repeating of the chant, creating a drunken party mood. As I said in the intro, it all gives off a vibe pretty similar to our own Drinkers from Zasavje. The limited edition of the album also has a bonus track, where the Sisters wish us “A Twisted Christmas” and “Twisted new year” in choir-style singing. A nice gesture in the end and, if nothing else, at least an album for partying until the early morning hours!
Line-up
Dee Snider – vocals
Jay Jay French – guitar and backing vocals
Eddie “Fingers” Ojeda – guitar and backing vocals
Mark “The Animal” Mendoza – bass guitar and backing vocals
A.J. Pero (Anthony Jude Pero) – drums and backing vocals
Production
Mark »The animal« Mendoza
Track list
1. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
2. Oh Come All Ye Faithful
3. White Christmas
4. I’ll Be Home for Christmas – Lita Ford, Twisted Sister
5. Silver Bells
6. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
7. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow
8. Deck the Halls
9. Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
10. Heavy Metal Christmas (The Twelve Days of Christmas)
Running time: 41.47
