Townsend, Devin

This wasn't the first metal gig at the Royal Albert Hall, but it was definitely the first one where testicles strolled across the stage. Priceless.

Nearly three hours of London spectacle proved that Devin Townsend is simply one of the best, and The Retinal Circus was a reminder of what really matters in life, which comes in awfully handy in these shitty times!

Before we kick off the review, go put the coffee on first. And make it quick, you've only got five minutes! Make it as good as humanly possible, for the love of God... Done? Phew, you just saved Earth from total destruction. Five miles…