Author: Rok Klemše
Artist: Townsend, Devin
Label: Inside Out Records
Release: 2007
Before we kick off the review, go put the coffee on first. And make it quick, you’ve only got five minutes! Make it as good as humanly possible, for the love of God… Done? Phew, you just saved Earth from total destruction. Five miles above Qatar, a four-dimensional alien, Ziltoid the Omniscient, is hovering right this very moment. His Omniscience has the edge on humans, one dimension to be exact, which lets him control time. To bend time, though, he needs the ultimate fuel, black coffee, which can only be found on one planet – Earth. Ziltoid’s hobbies are: playing guitar, singing, being a bit grumpy and touchy, and in truth he doesn’t actually want to destroy Earth. He just wants to be known as the best guitarist in the universe and be surrounded by lots of women.
That’s the backdrop to the seventh studio album from Canadian eccentric genius Devin Townsend, Ziltoid the Omniscient. This time around Devin goes without his band, singing and playing guitar and bass all by himself, handling keyboards and samples, and also sitting in the producer’s chair and mixing the record on top of it. The music on Ziltoid the Omniscient is best described as a mix of Devin’s other band Strapping Young Lad, The Devin Townsend Band, and Devin’s goofball parody Punky Brüster with the album Cooked on Phonics. The new album once again serves up Devin’s off-the-wall humor, which this time you could call a mix of Monty Python and Adams’s Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Musically, the record shows off the wide range Devin has, moving from material that’s as heavy and hard-hitting as anything Strapping Young Lad would have written to calm, almost ambient parts. If you had to pigeonhole Devin by genre, I’d put him somewhere between progressive and atmospheric metal and industrial. The album is perfectly balanced between the punchy, heavy parts (e.g. Ziltoidia Attaxx!!!) and the calmer, atmospheric ones (the fantastic Solar Winds), and both sides are tied together by crazy dialogues and narrative bits that tell the story.
On the album Devin shows off his vocal chops to the fullest, laying out everything from brutal screaming and high-pitched shrieks to clean, melancholic, mellow singing. Devin also plays all the characters in the story and breathes life into every single one with his own accent, and he’ll give listeners stomach cramps from laughing at the crazy quotes (“I’m so omniscient that if there were two omnisciences, I’d be both of them!”). But Devin doesn’t just shine vocally, he’s also an incredible multi-instrumentalist. The guitars are mighty and sawing, and the heavier parts are tied together by excellent riffs and the occasional faster solo section. The bass isn’t all that audible, but it nicely fills out and complements the musically complex record. The samples give the album a flavor you could easily slot onto the soundtrack of some eighties sci-fi movie, which wraps up the concept of the record brilliantly. The only small minus is that Devin programmed the drums with Drumkit From Hell (a tool developed with help from Meshuggah drummer Tomas Haake, who used it on Catch Thirty-Three). They’re programmed excellently, sure, but I’d still have loved to hear Gene Hoglan. Once again Devin has written 8- and 9-minute tracks that are so varied and full of atmosphere that they fly by in a flash.
If you don’t want to spoil the story and want to discover the wild plot of Ziltoid the Omniscient yourself, skip the next paragraph and come back to it once you’ve heard the record. If you feel like it, of course.
Our time with Ziltoid begins when he arrives on Earth demanding the ultimate cup of coffee (ZTO). When he’s disappointed by the coffee he gets, he attacks Earth with his army and his secret weapon, the “Planet Smasher,” bent on totally annihilating humanity (By Your Command and Ziltoidia Attaxx!!!). Captain Spectacular cooks up an escape plan by exposing Ziltoid as a nerd, then flees toward N9 with hyperdrive (Solar Winds and Hyperdrive). Ziltoid follows and summons the six-dimensional Planet Smasher, hoping for final victory (N9 and Planet Smasher). The Planet Smasher turns Ziltoid down, so he visits the Omnidimensional Creator, who reveals the meaning of his existence, and his whole life plays out in front of him (Omnidimensional Creator). Ziltoid learns that he’s just a puppet in a show (Color Your World and The Greys). The album ends with a twist: it was all just a dream of a coffee shop worker, who is woken up by his boss and takes a customer’s order for a tall latte (Tall Latte).
With Ziltoid the Omniscient, “Hevy Devy” has written one of the best records of his career. The concept might not be for everyone if bizarre humor isn’t really your thing, but this is still one of the best albums of the year so far. If not the best, then definitely the boldest, most unique and most fun! Sadly, Devin is stepping away from the music business out of exhaustion, though he’s supposedly going to treat us to a solo record or two whenever the mood strikes him. We can be glad that we got such a great record to cap off the Canadian oddball’s career. “Indeed!”
Lineup
Devin Townsend – vocals, guitar, bass, keyboards, samples
Drumkit From Hell – drums
Production
Devin Townsend
Tracklist
1. ZTO 01:17
2. By Your Command 08:10
3. Ziltoidia Attaxx! 03:43
4. Solar Winds 09:47
5. Hyperdrive 03:48
6. N9 05:31
7. Planet Smasher 05:45
8. Omnidimensional Creator 00:48
9. Color Your World 09:45
10. The Greys 04:15
11. Tall Latté 01:03
