Author: Peter Podbrežnik
Artist: Zappa, Frank
Label: Rykodisc Records
Released: 1984
Length: 90:58
Rating: 4/5
Throughout his entire musical career, which spanned more than four decades, the legendary composer, guitarist, singer, producer, social satirist and director Frank Zappa kept pissing off the American neoliberal elite with his sharp, intelligent and often deliberately spicy humor, mercilessly hammering away at the hypocritical patterns of a society weighed down by all kinds of pathologies. Sadly, that same elite is nowadays a fine role model for all the on-duty, ruling slackers of our beloved little Slovenian backwater, who are leading us toward universal collapse with such perverse relish.
Frank’s satirical mockery of Republican hypocrisy and perversity, the two main hallmarks of Reagan’s America, which in its egocentric and decadent way glorified the rise of raw, ghoulish materialism and planted the seed of the neoliberal evil that now, even more than ever, rules the globalized world, is nowhere more obvious among his studio releases of the eighties than on the double rock opera »Thing-Fish«. Most critics still often misunderstand this conceptual classic, which had no shortage of self-irony, caustic cynicism, theater of the absurd and toilet humor. Reaganism handed Frank a veritable goldmine for ridiculing the immense vulgarity, intellectual poverty, materialistic selfishness, spiteful competitiveness, thinly veiled racism, xenophobia, homophobia, religious (above all Christian( fundamentalism and primitive smugness of most of the population of the ‘God-chosen’ US.
»Thing-Fish«, which was originally released as a triple box set, contains a classic, ‘Zappa-esque’ highly avant-garde concept, which is really a story within a story, inspired by AIDS, conspiracy theories, Broadway theater, African-American culture, feminism and homosexuality, in other words all the hottest, most controversial topics that American society still hasn’t sorted out to this day. The album was made right when AIDS first burst onto the scene as a global phenomenon/problem, and conspiracy theories were plentiful, some of which haven’t gone quiet to this day, like the one claiming that the HIV virus was actually invented by the American government to more easily control or get rid of undesirable social minorities such as African Americans, homosexuals and overly intellectual pacifists. The story is about a racist evil prince (simply named the Evil Prince), who is also a theater critic and who invents a dangerous virus in a secret laboratory, hoping to get rid of the hated African-American population, which is its own kind of irony, since he is himself an African American serving the interests of the American government. The disease caused by the virus is tested in strict secrecy on a group of forcibly detained members of unwanted social groups. For unknown reasons, the virus causes an allergic, mutational degeneration.
The test subjects turn into bizarre caricatures of themselves (one of them is depicted on the album cover) called mammy nuns (in Slovenian, ‘mamice-nunice’), with giant potato-shaped heads and duck bills instead of mouths. The Evil Prince decides to use a handful of these brainwashed, mutated wretches as actors in his own theater, intended exclusively for the spoiled White Anglo-Saxon Protestant (WASP) elite. To that end he dresses them in housewife outfits and pushes wooden crosses and little American flags into their hands. Harry and Rhonda, typical, rather dim-witted and spoiled representatives of the ruling white Anglo-Saxon elite, come to see the mammy nuns’ theater show, in which the nuns are really just puppets in the Evil Prince’s hands. The second half of the album in particular satirically toys with this couple and their hushed-up sexual pasts: Harry as a closeted homosexual boy and the young Rhonda as a former porn star/inflatable sex doll made of flesh.
Thanks to the Evil Prince’s cunning manipulations, their marriage changes radically for the worse after the show, or rather falls apart, as Rhonda gradually turns into a fascist feminist, while the withdrawn and overly conformist Harry, because of her radical transformation into a mannish woman, loses every desire for women and becomes gay. All of it (pumped-up, waxed men in thongs and mannish women with ties and briefcases) is of course part of yet another evil government plan for total social control and the destruction of every trace of healthy human relationships. The Evil Prince is used as a metaphor for government institutions. It’s an exceptionally sharp and intelligent socially critical concept, and the lyrics themselves were so controversial at the time that the album’s original distributor (MCA), feeling exposed by the words, refused to distribute it, and its release was postponed for quite a while.
»Thing-Fish« was originally also conceived for a theatrical production, which only saw the light of day in 2003, ten years after Frank’s death. On the album, the main roles were played by longtime guitarist/singer Ike Willis as Thing-Fish/the narrator, legendary drummer Terry Bozzio as Harry, his wife/former Playboy bunny/singer Dale Bozzio as Rhonda, longtime saxophonist/singer Napoleon Murphy Brock as the Evil Prince, AOR singer Bob Harris as the boy Harry, cult guitarist Johnny ‘Guitar’ Watson as Brown Moses and guitarist/singer Ray White as Owl/Gowkin/Jane Cowhoon. As for the individual musicians, besides Frank on guitar and Synclavier, the album features the cream of his favorite eighties collaborators, led by Steve Vai on guitar, Chad Wackerman on drums, Tommy Mars on keyboards, Ray White on guitar, Ed Mann on percussion and Arthur Barrow on bass.
While the absurdly brilliant concept of »Thing-Fish« is one of the biggest satirical triumphs of Frank’s long career, its musical content is no great peak for a composer of this caliber, especially when it comes to innovation, since most of the songs had already appeared on earlier albums, just partly rearranged with altered lyrics and with added spoken word that builds the concept through theatrical dialogues and monologues. Most of the reworked material originally appeared on earlier albums like »Zoot Allures« (1976), »Tinseltown Rebellion« (1981), »You Are What You Is« (1981) and »Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch« (1982).
New vocals and Synclavier were added to individual sections, Frank’s favorite instrumental toy of that period, which created an extra ambience of passionate orchestral arrangements. This very reanimation of old ideas/classics in a new guise is the main reason why »Thing-Fish« doesn’t reach the musical innovativeness of earlier double masterpieces like »Uncle Meat« (1969) or »Joe’s Garage« (1979). Still, every devotee of Frank Zappa’s life and work can find enough conceptual and sonic goodies on it to this day, and after years of neglect it deserves recognition as one of Frank’s most important satirical works ever. Considering that in 1984, besides »Thing-Fish«, Frank released three more studio albums of more or less completely new material, you really can’t hold this recycling of old ideas in a fresh outfit, with the help of the Synclavier, a pile of burlesque dialogues and added singing, against him.
The album’s intro, »Prologue«, features a distorted, heavy rock guitar riff and a mockingly tinged bass line. Here Ike Willis as Thing-Fish begins his tale of a hidden laboratory where the Evil Prince runs tests on forcibly captured ‘guinea pigs’. Willis’s ‘brotha’ slang deliberately recalls the Harlem dialect, so he sounds like a typical representative of the African-American underground. The creepy experiment, via a syphilis-like disease, ultimately goes off the rails and causes genetic mutations in the guinea pigs, which is what »The Mammy Nuns« is about, originally created ‘live’ as a heavy rock instrumental. Its original version can be heard under the name »The Mammy Anthem« on the double live album »You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore, Vol. 1« (1988). The Evil Prince gathers a handful of creatures, dresses them in housewife outfits and teaches them how to perform in his private theater. That’s when the mammy nuns’ show begins, as the spoiled couple, Harry and Rhonda, come to see the unfortunate creatures on »Harry & Rhonda«. The white Anglo-Saxon Protestants are horrified by the bizarre performance, as the grotesque creatures sprinkle them with urine during the show, which Harry thinks is just some artificially made substance, while the airheaded Rhonda is completely beside herself. Suddenly the couple find themselves shackled to the theater seats, but they still think it’s all just part of the show.
»Galoot Up-Date« is a reworked, alternative version of the classic »The Blue Light«, which originally appeared on the album »Tinseltown Rebellion« (1981). The bizarre performance and the gradual rewiring of the mental processes of Harry and Rhonda, who sit shackled to their seats bickering, goes on. »The ‘Torchum’ Never Stops«, where the scene suddenly moves to the Evil Prince’s secret laboratory, is an alternative version of the beloved »Zoot Allures« (1976) standard »The Torture Never Stops«, with the important difference that Ike Willis takes over as lead vocalist. The grotesque lab scene is complemented at its center by an odd aquarium tank holding an artificial pig, hooked up to special cables used for pumping dangerous lab substances. Next to the aquarium tank sit an American flag and a sweet picture of Ronald Reagan in a cowboy hat. Willis’s pompous, grotesque vocal performance is backed by half-tortured, half-orgasmic female screaming, while the Evil Prince carries out his bizarre experiments on zombies.
»That Evil Prince« is the moment when the Evil Prince, accompanied by grotesquely deformed zombies, finds himself on the theater stage and, with his looks and charm, enchants Rhonda and frightens Harry. In the background you can hear an early version of the Synclavier standard »Amnerika« from »Civilization Phaze III« (1994). The classic »You Are What You Is«, apart from a bizarre interlude monologue directed by Thing-Fish/Ike Willis, is barely different from the original version released on the studio masterpiece of the same name in 1981. The same goes for »Mudd Club«, the moment Harry and Rhonda are suddenly freed from their forced seats and find themselves in a dance club. This time it’s a satire of the yuppie club scene of the day. Their bizarre dance goes on until Christian fundamentalists show up and violently break up the party. On the version of the next »You Are What You Is« classic, »The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing«, reworked with spoken satire and altered lyrics, Zappa once again takes aim at American Christian-fundamentalist sects/cults. Here the scene moves to The Aladdin Hotel in the middle of Las Vegas, specifically to the room of the reverend leader of a Scientology-like religious cult, Quentin Robert De Nameland, whom Zappa followers first met on the double masterpiece »Joe’s Garage«. His reverence is busy with an inflatable sex doll in the form of a waitress. She is actually a younger version of Rhonda. All the hypocrisy of American religious leaders is laid bare here.
»Clowns On Velvet« was first played live as an instrumental. A recording of the instrumental version, featuring legendary jazz fusion guitarist Al DiMeola, was supposed to come out on »Tinseltown Rebellion«, but DiMeola refused to let it be released. On »Harry-As-A-Boy«, Harry and Rhonda use a special audiovisual device to see a scene from Harry’s past, which reveals that in this period, before he met the promiscuous bimbo Rhonda, he harbored homosexual leanings. Rhonda, who at the time was a sex doll on two legs, is horrified by what she sees, while the younger Harry tries to explain that, traumatized by his first encounter with feminists in ties and carrying briefcases, he lost all appetite for women and became gay. This is the first big rift between the couple and the start of their bizarre mental transformation.
That’s followed by the controversial classic »He’s So Gay«, probably the best-known song on the album, which seriously riled up the majority of conservative, Republican America when it came out. Its mischievous melody and burlesque vocalizations, led by a mocking chorus, not to mention the lyrics, raised the blood pressure of all those seemingly loving family men with ties and briefcases who sneak off to gay clubs on weekends after holy Mass, without their wives knowing. Any resemblance to the Slovenian scene is purely coincidental. This is where the cult blues guitarist and singer Johnny ‘Guitar’ Watson shows up as an African-American preacher named Brown Moses. The character looks suspiciously like the well-known old man from the famous American rice brand Uncle Ben’s.
»The Massive Improve’lence«, which is backed by extensive bass and drum improvisations, is one of the most bizarre moments of the whole album (and there are plenty), as the younger and older versions of the snobbish couple meet and their twisted sexual leanings come out, and the marriage between Harry and Rhonda, with Thing-Fish assisting and the Evil Prince presiding, finally falls apart. On »Artificial Rhonda«, which closes the first part of this avant-garde rock opera, the younger version of Rhonda stages an erotic dance in front of the reverend Quentin. This time it’s a wittily reworked version of the »Zoot Allures« standard »Ms. Pinky«.
The second disc opens with »The Crab-Grass Baby«, which combines grotesque, electronically programmed vocalizations simulating the singing of the mammy nuns with ‘normal’ vocalizations. A distorted riff and a repetitive bass line flow underneath. Near the end of the song, the spoken word of the gay/younger version of Harry breaks in, once again played superbly by old drum tomcat Bozzio. He also shines on »The White Boy Troubles«, the final reckoning with Harry’s traumas and his ultimate transformation into a homosexual softie. Meanwhile Thing-Fish reveals the true, depraved face of the reverend Quentin and further indoctrinates him into a fan of the mammy nuns. On the alternative version of the »Ship Arriving Too Late To Save a Drowning Witch« classic »No Not Now«, the softened Harry attends a wild party/orgy where the reverend Quentin is also present, along with the past, porn version of his future fiancée, who becomes a waitress for a merry company of young Christian boys.
Another super-provocative satire, »Briefcase Boogie«, marks the dramatic moment when the grown-up version of Rhonda appears, dressed in a hyper-sexual version of a Santa outfit, while Harry, in sadomasochistic gear, satisfies his new friends, led by Thing-Fish and Sister Abdula (yet another bizarre representative of the mammy nuns). Rhonda has a nervous breakdown when the softened Harry ignores her new hyper-porn look and would rather have fun with the mammy nuns, led by Sister Abdula. Out of rage, while mocking her former husband, she decides on a radical change into a fascist feminist with a briefcase, tie, glasses and hair pinned up in a bun.
On the blues-gospel hybrid »Brown Moses«, one of the few songs on the album with no spoken words, Johnny ‘Guitar’ Watson shines on lead vocals, backed by Zappa, Ike Willis, Ray White and Napoleon Murphy Brock. The cabaret-jazz burlesque »Wistful With a Fist-Full«, where the Evil Prince, a.k.a. Napoleon Murphy Brock, takes the lead vocal, is supported by an elegant piano arrangement. The arrangement starts out in sharp contrast with his grimacing singing, which, as the grotesqueness builds, gradually adapts to the increasingly chaotic and schizophrenic nature of the jazzy piano arrangements. »Drop Dead« is the grand finale, when the show ends and the former spouses are completely changed. While the fascist-feminist version of Rhonda is appalled by the softened version of her former husband (because he’s a homosexual) and by the Evil Prince (because he’s a dark-skinned scientist/theater critic), Harry is in seventh heaven after the orgy with the mammy nuns. The closing act of this satirical rock opera, »Won Ton Ton«, presents a central scene where the former spouses now star as the stage attractions: the submissive Harry in sadomasochistic gear, on his knees like a crawling worm, while the fascist-clad Rhonda with her bun hairdo and glasses whips him. The song’s lyrics are a backwards recording of »No Not Now«, as you can already tell from its title.
Compared with certain masterpieces from his past, »Thing-Fish« wasn’t exactly a peak of musical innovation, since the original versions of many of the album’s songs had already been heard before. On the other hand, Frank’s relentless habit of holding a mirror up to modern American society arguably reached its greatest conceptual triumph here. When it comes to conceptual hammer-swinging, absurdity and grotesquery, only the masterpieces »Joe’s Garage« and You Are What You Is« can compare with »Thing-Fish«. This is the album where Zappa triumphed as a merciless social satirist, while as a musical genius he delighted with wittily rearranged versions of past classics and with crazy Synclavier arrangements. Sadly, all the social problems Frank satirized back when the neoliberal piggish capitalism that rules most of the world today was only just being born are burning more than ever now, so an intelligent musical satirist of Frank’s caliber, someone who could use intelligent, provocative humor to at least somewhat dispel the apathetic grayness and gloom of everyday social life, is sorely missed on the world stage.
Line-up
Frank Zappa – guitar, Synclavier
Steve Vai – guitar
Ray White – guitar
Tommy Mars – keyboards
Chuck Wild – Broadway piano
Arthur Barrow – bass
Scott Thunes – bass
Jay Anderson – acoustic bass
Ed Mann – percussion
Chad Wackerman – drums
Steve De Furia – Synclavier programming
David Ocker sy- Synclavier programming
Thing Fish: Ike Willis
Harry: Terry Bozzio
Rhonda: Dale Bozzio
Evil Prince: Napoleon Murphy Brock
Harry-as-boy: Bob Harris
Brown Moses: Johnny “Guitar” Watson
Owl-Gonkwin-Jane Cowhoon: Ray White
Production
Frank Zappa
Track list
CD1:
1. Prologue (2:56)
2. The Mammy Nuns (3:31)
3. Harry and Rhonda (3:36)
4. Galoot Up-Date (5:27)
5. The ‘Torchum’ Never Stops (10:32)
6. That Evil Prince (1:17)
7. You Are What You Is (4:31)
8. Mudd Club (3:17)
9. The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing (3:14)
10. Clowns on Velvet (1:51)
11. Harry-As-A-Boy (2:34)
12. He’s So Gay (2:44)
13. The Massive Improve’lence (5:07)
14. Artificial Rhonda (3:32)
CD2:
1. The Crab-Grass Baby (3:48)
2. The White Boy Troubles (3:34)
3. No Not Now (5:49)
4. Briefcase Boogie (4:10)
5. Brown Moses (3:01)
6. Wistful Wit a Fist-Full (4:00)
7. Drop Dead (7:56)
8. Won Ton On (4:19)
